Eternity In An Hour

Ultimately, what do I want to do with my life? What do I want to study? From whom do I want to receive my W-2 forms?

"Language is a cracked kettle on which we beat out tunes for bears to dance to, while all the time we long to move the stars to pity."--Flaubert

Alas, these are the questions. There's an answer but it is amorphous and I seem to be the only person who isn't entirely bothered by that. I want to study language, to write, to be involved in religious and cultural dialogue, and to not be so entrenched in writing grants and doing studies that I can't have a family.
To me, remaining flexible is really valuable. My degree is currently excellent for use as a placemat. After grad school it will only be as good as my desperation, depending on what I get a masters in. Paul has a clear idea of what he wants to do and it is not only feasible and is likely to pay better than my job ever could but he also seems naturally talented at it. Therefore it is in my best interest in being able to take my skills where ever he finds gainful employment.
I can be perfectly happy writing articles for a magazine or working as a secretary. Neither is soul-crushing work and I am moderately optimistic that my education combo would be worth something in the entertainment-related arts. If nothing else I suppose I can do culturally conscious exotic dancing and write about it for an academic journal in my spare time.
Ideally I would be a librarian in a glorious private library, owned by an old and eccentric woman who sends me and my family on overseas journeys in search of new literature. She will have lavish parties and adore me and leave me everything in her Will. My family will spend Christmas in London, summers in New Zealand, and eat chocolate cake every day for breakfast in her honour.