A half and a half make a pear.

A scene from today's New Testament class, with the professor's part delivered in his characteristic monotone...

Professor: "...so we will be dividing up the chapter. We'll do half of it today, another half on Tuesday, and half when we get back."
Student: "Three halves?"
Professor: "Do you have a problem with that?"
Student: *silence*
Professor: "You must have a very narrow view of mathematics."

He's a great professor. And the way he talks, you wouldn't suspect him of being hilarious. But the jokes just get rolled along with everything else as he deadpans his way through the lecture. It still takes half a beat for people to figure out when he is kidding sometimes.