Tuesday, January 11

Baseless Accusations

In high school, my friends and I were on a continuous search for places to hang out. Generally we stuck to coffeehouses -- but Denny's, being cheap and 24-hr, was also alluring. Or as alluring as a diner can possibly be. Nearby there was another diner that we [un]affectionately called "Iowa". Somehow we got it into our heads that that Iowa was the most boring place in the world, and this stereotype has managed to stay with me so long that I actually forget its origin sometimes. Iowa is a strange place to have a random bias against. It seems so innocuous, like having a deep seated distrust of men in yellow hats. What could they ever do? Withhold corn?
For those of you in Iowa (if any happen to stop by) I'll admit that this is probably not true. However it is really not a contest where any participants come out as winners. There are undoubtedly places that are more boring than Iowa. Like trying to find the stupidest person on the internet; there's always someone worse*. At some point the argument becomes moot as one approaches the boredom equivalent to zero degrees Kelvin. It's not Iowa's fault that people don't associate it with swinging nightlife. Instead they get occasionally hip during election cycles only to fade once again into the beige of the Midwest.
I do love corn though. And ethanol. Good work Iowa! I hope the condition of your farmers improves. After reading Michael Pollan, I am forever traumatized regarding the corn industry. I don't know where I was going with this, except that I think it is funny that I have this deep seated idea that Iowa is dull for almost no reason at all and that it is inexorably linked to a badly decorated second-tier chain diner. I think maybe because there was a lot of cow-rustlin' paraphernalia and as Southern California city kids we had little to no idea where they used cow-related things or even where cows lived except Chino, or Iowa. And everyone knows Chino is a scary, dangerous place where criminals are raised, as we saw in The OC.
I also have a bias against New Jersey, though that is more a result of cultural indoctrination than youthful punk-ness.

*I used a semicolon correctly! I think...Rachel? This is always a victory for me.


McRachie said...

Do you want mean Teacher-Rachel or nice Cheerleader-Rachel to answer that?

Sonya said...

I suspect Teacher-Rachel said that with a raised eyebrow indicating her disdain for my inability to grasp semicolons, and that Cheerleader-Rachel would say something along the lines of, "You're so awesome!... So awesome that next time maybe you will get it right!"