Funny/Not Funny

Paul and I have many things in common. Some of those things are things that we both find funny. We like to meow at Pickle and narrate her internal monologue of disgust with humans and eternal terror that we (or various inanimate objects) secretly are trying to kill her. We think it is funny that Paul can unintentionally scare me without doing anything at all, including when I already know he is there*. Weird Al. Zoolander. Crazy irrational retail shoppers.

However there is a lot of discrepancy in our sense of humor. Some things that he finds to be the funniest thing currently in the world, I look at and say, "What? That is gross/stupid/makes no sense". There are many things that I find world shatteringly hilarious that Paul looks at and says, "huh. That's funny". Not even a laugh. He actually gets so little amusement that he has so say aloud that he thought it was funny because his reaction failed to convey anything that could be read as even mild amusement.

There isn't any real pattern to predict what we will or won't agree on. It's especially frustrating to Paul, when he laughs at Dumb and Dumber or Wayne's World, but I can't do anything but seethe with frustration and the gross/stupid/makes no sense/everything. Then I counter with "Man, I love Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. So-crates." And dissolve into snorting giggles. He at least recognizes things that are funny, usually, and makes the obligatory "That was funny" declaration. I lash out at things that are not funny and want to take them apart and destroy them. As a female, I am entitled to be irrational. It is the right of a lady.

So when I find a blog, like this one that makes my face melt from laughter (even though I already read all the posts months ago when it was introduced to me) it is frustrating that I know he probably won't find it as hilarious as I do. Well, that and the fact that it will be WEEKS until he checks his email and actually looks at the link, but that is an entirely different problem.


*No, really. For example: I am standing in the bathroom looking in the mirror examining my face wrinkles in a way that every girl does, and Paul is talking to me and enters the room. We continue talking. He opens the cabinet and noisily takes out a flosser. I eventually turn to leave the bathroom, only to find that there is SOMEONE IN THE ROOM OMFGNESS!! And I screech like he is about to murder me. At least once a week, repeat in various similar forms.

What? I can blog from my phone now? New and more advanced ways to slack off on posting!

Transitions

Tidying up the blog, since I never did quite finish fiddling with the first incarnation. Or more accurately, I never did finish, after having fiddled with the first incarnation. Hah. The new publisher is quite nice for things that are not fancy.

Butternut Squash Custard/Pie/AltMuffin?

I don't know what to call this, since it is sort of like a pie without the crust, but it is adapted from a custard recipe that I forgot to save and only vaguely remembered. Either way the taste is reminiscent of Mimi's Buttermilk Spice  Muffins (the best muffins ever, but like ten million calories per bite) and the texture is like a pumpkin pie.

Ingredients
1 half of a butternut squash (or more, if you are gluttonous or have moochers coming over)
2 eggs per squash half
Vanilla Extract
Nutmeg
Cinnamon
Allspice (if you want, it would probably be tasty)
Sugar of desired browness (I used dark brown, but probably others would work too.)


Preheat oven to 350!

• Wash and Cut Butternut squash in half lengthwise (this is way harder than I thought it would be!)
• Scoop out seedy area (Set seeds aside so you can dry and grow them.)
• Spray the cut half liberally with scary imitation spray butter, coating your arm in the process (or some other method for buttering the cut side)
• Set squash half facedown in an ovensafe pan, fill with half an inch or so of water.

Bake for about 40 mins, or until squash is mushy and seems done.

• Let squash cool; meanwhile go to the store to buy the ingredients that you don't have on hand and didn't think to buy before you randomly started cooking. Did I just use a semicolon appropriately? I think maybe?
• Drain water out of pan, or transfer to the oven safe dish you want to serve in.
• Peel squash as best you can. I did about 85% of a peel job before I got annoyed with it and stopped. It did not kill me to eat a little bit of peel.
• Cut squash into manageable pieces, and go to work smashing it up.
• Meanwhile scramble the eggs in a separate bowl, add a splash of vanilla. Anywhere from 1/4 tsp to a full teaspoon depending on how enthusiastic you are about vanilla.
• Mix spices into squash.
• Add egg to mush slowly so that it doesn't cook the egg if it is too warm.
• Add sugar!
• Smooth mush around the dish so it is even.
• Put back in oven until it is set all the way through and browned on top.

Eat while warm! Its better that way! It tastes way better than it looks in the picture.

Rellenos-y Quiche-ish Enchilada Casserole

You need:

• Wheat Tortillas (enough for a few layers in your pan)
• 1 Can of green enchilada sauce. Salsa verde?
• Two eggs for each layer
• 1 pkg frozen spinach
• Mozzarella cheese, to taste.

Process

1. Preheat oven to 300
2. Defrost Spinach, squeeze out as much water as you can
3. Shred Mozzarella cheese
4. Mix Spinach and most of Cheese (set aside about a third), add desired spices (such as cumin), set aside
5. Crack eggs into bowl, scramble, set aside
6. Put tortillas into saucepan, pour sauce over them, make sure they are coated. Keep them turning until they are evenly soaked and warm, but not quite falling apart.
7. Begin making layers: tortilla, spinach mixture, some scrambled egg, more cheese on top, then start next layer. End with a tortilla on top.
8. When layers are finished pour remaining sauce over the top and stab all over with a fork so that the sauce and egg can permeate everywhere.
9. put in oven! When most of it appears set (but with a lot of thin liquid drains into a cut, around 20 mins) stab some more and turn oven down to 200 until it starts to brown and puff. Make sure it is completely cooked through.

Delicious!

Presidential Plastics

An article reviewing the changing portraits of the presidents on our currency has an humorous twist. They are proposing that the artistic representations have been given cosmetic enhancements.

I'm not sure I buy this though. Some of it looks like they have been "cleaned up", but a lot of it just looks like the drawing is done from a different angle. Lincoln's portrait, especially, looks like most of the difference attributed to imaginary rhinoplasty and cheek implants is actually due to an artist changing the angle of the drawing.

The Man Who...?

My dad has an enormous collection of Analog magazines. I should know, I had to put them back in chronological order when we moved. I would peek at them from time to time, reading a story here and there, or an article when it was passed on to me. Once I recall reading a story, and really loving it. Even re-reading it. I am reasonably sure I didn't dream it up. However, I have never ever again been able to find that story. Not with all my google-fu or through manually going back through the magazines. It has been about a decade since I read that story, I think, but the magazines go back to around the 80s so it is anyone's guess what era I may have been poking my nose into.
Just in case someone thinks this sounds familiar, or in case I forget as I get older, here is a synopsis:
The Man Who Once Made Bunnies (I am pretty sure that was the title)
This was about a man who loved children, and had a business of making stuffed bunnies. However he was sued, time and again, for "defects". A child bit off the nose and choked. A child was allergic to the fur. The glue was toxic when eaten. After years of being sued and changing the bunnies each time only to be sued again for something else, he was tired and cynical and had had enough. He started making a product called a "wire hug" that was basically a ball of razor wire. It was so obviously dangerous that he was never sued for it.
I don't know the ending, but I remember it being sad and thoughtful. A man disillusioned, and obviously suggestive of where our culture was headed (and now is).


Help! Cookies and Karma to anyone who can prove to me that this wasn't some haunting dream that I invented myself only to be tortured by its incompleteness.